A charmed life...

"...there is no such thing as a charmed life, not for any of us, no matter where we live or how mindfully we attend to the tasks at hand. But there are charmed moments, all the time, in every life and in every day, if we are only awake enough to experience them when they come and wise enough to appreciate them."
— Katrina Kenison (The Gift of an Ordinary Day: A Mother's Memoir)

There is just no such thing.   Lately, more than ever, I have learned that the old cliche is true: Money can't buy happiness.   And that the lives all around us that appear to be "charmed" are not.   That no matter what, the grass is rarely greener on the other side.  And that the heartache that goes on in our  preppy little town is as challenging and real as that heartache 10 minutes from here where gang violence and crack is readily available on the corners.      It's just invisible.  Which can sometimes be even harder.


Grateful today:

1)  That I have Luke Duke home this morning.  He finished Pre-K the week before last, and I am deternined to write about it.   I am determined to be better. To record the little moments, and the ups and down of daily/weekly life. To get something recorded for the future before I edit some more photos or do anything else around here.   This school year has flown by and there are no words for how sad that makes me feel.  Not because the kids are here full time all summer :)  but because there childhood just slips away with each passing year.  I am losing Emmy Lou to middle school.  Her 4th grade celebration is next week. She will sing her school song for the last time ever and it just might brake my heart in 2!!  SHe is such a joy to have in our home, and we pray hard that growing up and hitting teenage-girl challenges will never warp her innocence and loud, boisterous, confindent, happy personality! She turned 10 a few weeks ago and is turning into an almost-young lady!
2) For a fun weekend with good memories:  Time with kids, watching them light up the soccer fields, trying to coach a bunch of not-so-athletic girls on Em's team and being grateful that she is fairly coordinated and confident.   Dinner out with my man  who actually wants to go out on a romantic date with me after 16 years of marriage and is even willing to see a total chick-flick even though I can't sit through most of his movies.   Kitchen shopping which ended up at Home Depot with a new washer and dryer.  (hoping our next date ends at a camera store...) Sunday brought an extra-special church testimony meeting, delish dinner at besties' where Billy got his fave ribs and lemon/lime cake, and then Seminary Graduation.  The busiest time of year besides Christmas.
3)  good health - this past 2 weeks my cousin hasn't left my heart and my head for very long.  His wife that is B's age just died of Pancreatic Cancer.  She was way, way too young.   Had a sore back that wouldn't go away and was gone within just a little over a month.   Not enough time to even talk about letting go, as they were just starting all the chemo, etc.   They decided early on to never have children, and now I am wondering if that was a good thing, or a heartbreaking thing to leave this earth with no legacy.   No one left behind that looks and acts just like you.    Another friend's mom is dying of ovarion cancer, and has a teenage child at home, but grandkids, too.  Too too young.  And too many loved ones to leave behind.   What is worse - a legacy or less souls to be sad in missing you?
4)  A yard full of flowers and the time this week to fill a bestie's windowboxes with beauty.  I might doubt how I can mother teenage daughters, but I know my flowers!
5)  2 weeks til OREGON and seeing childhood bestie and family.  And being able to hug my cousin and tell him how sorry I am..in person.